This should give you a good laugh!!! :)
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh"....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.... couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm..... car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days..... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!